Starlight Pet Talk

Secrets for Communicating with Your Pet with Blair Hope, Heart Centered Healing and Animal Communication

February 21, 2023 Season 1 Episode 4
Secrets for Communicating with Your Pet with Blair Hope, Heart Centered Healing and Animal Communication
Starlight Pet Talk
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Starlight Pet Talk
Secrets for Communicating with Your Pet with Blair Hope, Heart Centered Healing and Animal Communication
Feb 21, 2023 Season 1 Episode 4

In this insightful episode, Animal Communication Expert Blair Hope from Heart Centered Healing & Animal Communication shares techniques for enhancing communication and strengthening the bond with your pet. Host Amy Castro and Blair discuss regular communication's importance, reframing "bad" behavior, and understanding your pet's perspective. They also cover nonverbal cues, mindful language, and supporting pets through transitions.

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Show Notes Transcript

In this insightful episode, Animal Communication Expert Blair Hope from Heart Centered Healing & Animal Communication shares techniques for enhancing communication and strengthening the bond with your pet. Host Amy Castro and Blair discuss regular communication's importance, reframing "bad" behavior, and understanding your pet's perspective. They also cover nonverbal cues, mindful language, and supporting pets through transitions.

Get Blair's Free Downloads as a Gift for Listening!
Tips for Talking with your Pet &
What Your Pets May Be Trying To Tell You!

Send us a Text Message.

Support the Show.

Help us make the show better by taking our quick listener survey:

Support the show:

▷ Official Site:

▶ Facebook: / starlightoutreachandrescue

▶ YouTube: -

▶ TikTok: ...

Secrets for Communicating with Your Pet

Announcer: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Starlight Pet Talk Podcast, where we'll talk about and explore ways to help pet parents and future pet parents. Learn everything they need to know. Do you have a happy and healthy relationship with their pet? So, sit up and stay for Starlight Pet Talk Rescue Adoption and pet Parenting done right.

Amy Castro: Hello and welcome to Starlight Pet Talk. I'm your host Amy Castro, and I've really been looking forward to this episode today. Ever since I had heard about our guest, one of my personal pet peeves in dealing with humans and animals is that humans, talk too much when they shouldn't and they don't communicate enough when they should, when it comes to their pets.

So, our guest today is Blair Hope, and Blair is a healing touch for animals’ practitioner and an animal communicator. And she works with pet parents to help them better understand their pets, [00:01:00] which I think is something that we all would like to be able to do through her practice. She also works with pets to help them feel better and behave better.

So that everybody can live their very best life. Her practice is called Heart-Centered Healing and Animal Communication, and I know we're going to give the le the website in multiple formats, but it's basically Blair So Blair, welcome so much to the show today. Oh, thanks. Thanks so much for having me.

Awesome. In your, in the, in the intro, I basically said, you know, you work with pets to help 'em feel better, behave, et cetera. But can you be a little more specific about what, what you do in working with your clients regarding communicating with animals? 

Blair Hope: Absolutely. So, I, um, use my healing touch for animals techniques and animal communication tools to help look at the situation or just information about the pet from a different perspective, from an energetic perspective, and also from the pet's perspective through animal [00:02:00] communication.

So, it's like, for me, it brings in other pieces of the., um, for information on maybe what's going on with your pet and what they might need or just to increase the bond and relationship. 

Amy Castro: Okay, great. So, and I know one of the things that I find, and I know this isn't necessarily something that we had said that we were going to talk about, but people have a tendency, I think, to, to attribute human behaviors and human motives to animals in many instances.

So, I'll hear people say things like, He's doing it because he's jealous of this, or, you know, they're doing this because they, they want me to feel guilty about something. How do you answer when people say things like that as far as you know, what their, how, what their behavior is trying to say? 

Blair Hope: Yeah, that's a really good question.

And, um, just to start, um, I used to be in early childhood, like a preschool teacher and school director too, and I believe both with animals and kids, there's no. Like there's no [00:03:00] bad kids, there's no bad animals. There's always a reason behind the behavior. Um, and interestingly, when people have a really strong bond with their pets, sometimes pets are actually helping to bring some self-awareness about or mirroring some things that are going on with the person.

So, if there is a, yeah, which is really interesting. That happens a lot. 

Amy Castro: So, what would be like an example of something. 

Blair Hope: So, for example, um, okay, I'll use my personal example. I have a dog that I adopted through a rescue and um, she actually, has some kind of similar background that I have and we've both been through a little bit of trauma and she, um, helped me become aware that I need to put my needs first.

But what it looked like was her me feeling like she's being really stubborn., right? She's got a really strong stubborn streak. But what she was showing me is that I needed to actually stop and think about what I needed and put some of my needs first [00:04:00] too. And once I was able to understand that about her, our relationship got so much better.

And I was actually really grateful to. 

Amy Castro: I think people don't give animals credit enough for being as attuned to things that are going on as they as they really are. So, what do you think are some of the common mistakes that people make when communicating with their pets or maybe common mistakes that when they should communicate and they don't?

I think first of all 

Blair Hope: that a lot of people, you know, we talk to our pets, right? A lot of people talk to our pets, but we don't necessarily do it in a conscious or deliberate way. And the other thing is that we don't necessarily think about how many ways we're communicating with our pets. So not only are we verbally communicating and, but there's of course body language.

But even more than that, pets are so aware and in tune with our emotions and our energy that, um, you know, they, they get our mood, they get our stress, they feel when we're anxious, they feel when we're [00:05:00] happy. So, we are communicating on so many levels and people are not always aware of that, which can cause problems.

Cuz you can send mixed messages to your pets too. 

Amy Castro: Yeah. You know, ever since I've been thinking about this episode all this week, it reminded me of when I had, um, so we had a Doberman pincher named Jack, and he was very, uh, dog reactive to strange, to strange dogs. And, you know, because he was a Doberman, people always.

I, I could be walking down the sidewalk and somebody would be walking up, you know, with or without a dog, and people would cross the street to go to the other side, but when we were approaching a a dog, all of that, Fear and anxiety of, and it's, and it's not like I said anything out loud. I was trying to just be quiet and calm, but I know for a fact that my mind was saying, I hope he doesn't start going ballistic.

I hope he doesn't scare this person. I wish he would behave himself. You know, maybe I should cross the street. [00:06:00] Even though you're not saying that out loud. How does that impact your pet when you're, when you're thinking things like, it absolutely 

Blair Hope: impacts your pet. And I think the reactive behavior is one of the hardest, um, one of the hardest times to really need to be mindful of your communication.

So, the energy, like your emotions, all of those feelings travel down your leash, even if you don't have the leash attached, but they travel down the leash. And so, you are telling him one thing, like, be calm, stay with me. But in. head, you are anticipating that he's going to have reactive behavior because you want to make sure everybody stays safe, right?

Mm-hmm. . And so, you are actually, while you're telling him, stay with me, be calm, good dog in your head and your body, you're going, he's going to go over there. He is going to try to react to them. He's going to pull me whatever the behavior is. So, he's getting actually a mixed message from you, which can be really confusing.

which nobody ever means to 

Amy Castro: do, [00:07:00] right? Yeah. Because it's, it's, uh, it's hard to take control of that thinking process. I think when you're, when you're in that, in that moment. Um, and people don't, people don't think as much about the impacted as they probably should. What about, you had said the, the non-verbal element.

Let's, let's talk about kind of that, that same scenario. What else do you think often is happening, um, physically in that situation that is. basically, causing that miscommunication or almost triggering. I think sometimes the, the physical behaviors that we're, that we're exhibiting are triggering that behavior in that other pet or in our, in our pet.

Excuse me. 

Blair Hope: Yeah, absolutely. Definitely. So, if you think about it, when you get, you anticipate behavior or you get a little worried about it, you're naturally going to tense our body. It's just happens. Um, and so you've got the physical tension, the dog's feeling that, and then. just a tiny bit about energy. We all have, uh, energy around us, this space around us that if you've ever known, [00:08:00] someone's come up behind you and you can just tell like you felt it.

And animals' energy feels are 10 times the size of ours, which is why they're so, they can sense things. They know things before we know someone's coming over and things like that. So, you're tensing your body. So physically you've got that physical tension. And what happens then too, is you pull., this energy field and around you tight and it contracts and none of that feels good to their dog.

That tells your dog there's something to worry about. There's something to be afraid of, and I need to, to see what that is so you are, you know, inadvertently contributing to that behavior when you're trying to actually have the other result for them to feel safe and them to be calm. 

Amy Castro: Yeah, I think, I think that's such a, such a huge point that we do oftentimes.

Blame the animal, but oftentimes we're the ones that's triggering it because we don't know what we're doing. And I think whether it's working with somebody like you or just educating ourselves better about what our animals pick up from us, [00:09:00] verbally, non-verbally, energy wise, uh, we can make better decisions when we're, when we find ourselves in those situations.

Let me ask you this. So, what are the most common things that people come to you for? Are there a couple? kind of themes that tend to arise. Well, 

Blair Hope: a lot of it is, is behavior, challenging behavior that, that the pet's struggling and it's stressful for the person and um, you know, my name even has tried some vet care or some training and it's made progress, but there's still something, they're still not quite there.

They're still having the pet's still struggling a little bit. So, people will come to me and that's where we can do some, look at some additional puzzle pieces that might be getting in the way. Animal behaving the right way because they always want to do the right thing. 

Amy Castro: You have any particular success story that jumps out at you that you were like, hey, this was something that really, we really solved this, this puzzle.

Blair Hope: Yeah, I have, I have a bunch. It's okay for me to share [00:10:00] the pet’s name? I think so. Um, okay. Yeah. I actually worked with. Um, I have a bunch, but one of my probably favorite ones is about Ruby, who is, um, a pit bull and she was adopted from a shelter and she, the owner knew that she had been at the shelter as part of a dog fighting case.

So, she knew that she had some, some hi, some history. and the, the owner, you know, saw that this dog could be incredibly sweet, but she was also incredibly reactive to other animals, to the point where it really limited their life and what they, what they could do, um, you know, limiting where they could go and things like that.

And she was working with a dog trainer and they had been making some good progress, but it was still really hard. Um, so the trainer asked me to, um, consult with, and I worked with Ruby. I, um, did healing touch for animals’ techniques with her to help her feel more secure and through animal communication, um, [00:11:00] got a lot of information on what she had learned her job was and um, some react, some.

Reactive behavior she had learned and why. And then through that understanding, through helping Ruby feel a little bit more grounded and stable, a little more secure, um, and continued training. Her trainer and her owner told me the next week that, uh, while she was at training, she actually went up to another dog's crate, wagging her tail and wanted to make friends.

And the fact that it opened up, wow, so many possibilities for this dog who. was the sweetest, most loving dog. She had just been taught the wrong things and um, was scared. And so, um, to see that dog open up and be able to be happy and then she, her owner and the dog be able to enjoy each other, was just so 

Amy Castro: amazing.

Yeah. It's got to be very rewarding to see that change. 

Blair Hope: That's why I [00:12:00] love doing this work. These animals have the biggest.

Amy Castro: Yeah. They, they, they, I, and I think, you know, in all the animals that I've, that I've worked with in rescue, it's like they, you know, they want, they want to be happy and healthy and balanced. You know, they're just, they sometimes need the guidance or better understanding to make that, to make that happen, to find that right fit for the.

Blair Hope: Absolutely. Also, you would ask like, another kind of mistake that people make is, um, that we don't give enough information to our pets. So, we assume our pet, the animals know what's going on, like if there's a big change. Um, and then especially if, you know, if you're adopting an animal from a rescue or a shelter, they’re coming into a new situation, and it's probably not, you know, it's definitely not their first home, and it might have been one of many throughout their life.

Um, so giving them information on what to expect and, you know, what their, what their job is. Um, [00:13:00] because sometimes animals come in with a feeling like the dog, Rudy, uh, that they have a different job and all you really want them to do is be a companion and let them know that this is a safe 

Amy Castro: space for. Yeah, that's, that's a good point.

That's one of the things that we, we talk about and rescue a lot is that, uh, you know, whether it's pulling an animal from a shelter or, you know, picking up an animal off of the streets, that there's. A process and a timeframe to, number one, determine that that animal's a good fit for you. Because I think, and we, we usually talk about 72 hours, you know, within 70, 72 hours, the animal that you thought you saw at first is going to be very, very different.

You know, especially if you're doing things right, they've, they've had a chance to settle in. You've made them feel safe and secure, and so you get to see more of that animal's actual personality. Do you find that to be the., um, in your experience as well. 

Blair Hope: Absolutely. And sometimes even some behaviors will come out [00:14:00] because they've gotten a little bit comfortable and I think they've gotten the sense that they're staying here.

Um, and then you start to see some of the ways that they might need some support. 

Amy Castro: And that's one of the things that we, you know, that we try to provide, at least in our rescue, is, you know, to provide that support. What we don't want, I mean, we have a lifetime return policy, so at any point if somebody can no longer keep that pet or doesn't want that pet, we will take it back because we feel like we owe it to that pet and we have that responsibility to that animal.

But I think sometimes people just don't, they don't give it enough time. You know, when they're calling in two days and saying, this isn't working out, there's probably a lot more that can be done if they, if they have that proper support, whether it's, you know, from a professional like you or a, you know, a rescue that's able to provide that support for.

Yeah, absolutely. 

Blair Hope: And I feel like at that time too, it's an amazing opportunity where they can get to know the animal, but that takes, it takes time. For sure. I mean, if you think about like if you were starting a new job, all of a sudden it was totally [00:15:00] different and you went in, you wouldn't really know where things were, you wouldn't know what's expected of you, and you might bring some of your old.

Behaviors or, or you know, your thoughts from your old job. I think it's very similar with animals that are coming from a shelter or a rescue. They have to, you know, they've had to adapt and figure out each place. So, it absolutely takes time. They need to know that you're a safe space, and I think there's lots of things that people can do and it's an amazing opportunity to give back to an animal.

And I have always found, I'm sure you have too, that it's never one way that animal always does something to help the person. 

Amy Castro: Mm-hmm. Yes, definitely. There's, and it, and it's different. Each animal's different as to what they, what they provide to you. For sure. So, along those same lines, any, um, any particular advice that you would, that you would give to people who were adopting a pet?

Specifically, because I know when I used to [00:16:00] volunteer at an animal shelter and you would, you know, go in and see this row of dogs, um, and. Oftentimes I would start from outside in the hallway because it would be so loud. Dogs, everybody's jumping, everybody's barking. Everybody's basically acting like a maniac.

Um, and always trying to express to people that, hey, you know, this is them feeding off of each other's energy. It is not going to be a reflection of how they're going to be in your home. Um, but what do you, what do you think when somebody's going out and looking for a pet? Uh, let's, let's talk about looking for a pet first.

Um, is there anything in particular that they can do to, um, maybe better assess from an, you know, again, from an energy standpoint or from a communication standpoint, assess what would be a good fit pet for them? 

Blair Hope: Yeah, absolutely. I would say to get clear with yourself first, what are you looking for? Um, you know, why do you want to adopt a pet?

What are you looking for? What are your [00:17:00] expectations? And I'm sure that that's something that you talk to people about, but it's doubly important from an energetic and an emotional perspective and a communication perspective, because when you're clear about what you are looking for and why you have them, then you're going to be, you're just going to.

Naturally attract the right animal. I truly believe that animals come into our lives for a reason. Um, and, and I'm sure you have a bunch, bunch of stories about that too. So, you, you want to make sure that you get clear about like, oh yeah, what am I trained to attract? You know, what I want? Um, and that also is going to help you later when you have this animal and you're trying to tell them your expectations for them.

And you'll already know what they. So, you know, are you trying to get a dog animal that you want to take care of? Or you want a companion, you want someone that's going to be a comfort for you? Like what are you looking for so that you can find that 

Amy Castro: right match. Yeah, I think, I think people don't spend enough time [00:18:00] analyzing that they make decisions because they saw a picture or they make decisions because.

Decided a particular breed looks nice or whatever it might be. And I, I know, and I, I'll be the first one to admit with, with our Doberman Jack, as much as I loved him and he lived with us for 13 years of his life. He was not a right fit dog for us. His, his energy level, his need for exercise, his need for having something to do did not fit our relatively sedentary lifestyle.

And so when you don't have that proper fit, as much as we tried to do our best by him, I think in the end, and overall we did not provide him. F the best possible life from that perspective. I mean, he was well fed, well cared for, but he would've been probably less anxious, you know, less, um, destructive about some things [00:19:00] because he, you know, needed a different type of person to.

To a, to uh, you know, be a part of his life. Do you, do you see that quite a bit? Like, have you ever come across a case where you're like, this animal's just not a good fit for this person or for this lifestyle? I don't know if you'd ever want to say that to a client, but have you ever come across it? But what happens 

Blair Hope: more often, which is really interesting, is you, I work with people who have maybe an, for example, an anxious dog and.

It turns out that the person also is anxious, so it's actually becomes an opportunity for that person while they're trying to help the pet to help themselves too, in the process. Um, and I think that's the beautiful thing that happens a lot. The other thing that I, I had a dog I worked with recently that was adopted, um, and was the person was having some trouble with their behavior.

Because the dog was, um, nipping and trying to follow people. Um, and it wasn't just breed. It turns out that that was kind of like the [00:20:00] person's, the way that they did their job. And so it was kind of an expectation until they realized, wait, I don't, like, that's not what I really want them to do. So, let's find a way that that dog can have a better job with more appropriate behavior.

And then it, you know, and then it was much better for both of. So sometimes we accidentally attract the wrong thing and we just have to adjust our expectations and then work with that animal to give them the right job to fit in with the family 

Amy Castro: too. Right. And I think it's important, you've said this several times through the, um, through our conversation, is the concept of dogs having a job.

in, in my experience, like you said, it's, it's important that people identify what it is that they want that dog to be able to do, but also to take into consideration that dogs are bred to have a particular type of job. And so if you get the wrong dog for the job that you have, you could be kind of fighting an uphill battle, uh, um, on that, [00:21:00] on that energy front for a long time.

For example, if my expectation with my dopamine pincher was that he was going to be a lap dog and just sit on the sofa with me, that's probably asking an awful lot from that animal based on what he is bred for. And I'm not saying I don't, I think that could definitely be overcome. But what are your thoughts on that as far as what dogs are bred to be and how that impacts this whole process?

Yeah. I think 

Blair Hope: you absolutely have to, um, educate yourself on breeds and fi, make sure that the, the breed and the tendency of the dog is going to be a good fit for your expectations for them. Absolutely. Otherwise, you're, you know, you're setting them up to fail in a way, and it's going to be hard on both of you when you want them to be happy and you want a dog that's going to fit in with your fight family.

Amy Castro: When we were talking, in our pre-interview, you were talking about, and I don't know if I had brought it up or if it was a, or if it was a story that you had brought up about. moving with a pet and the communication process. Do you [00:22:00] remember? 

Blair Hope: Yes. That is another thing I would love to share. So, I mentioned that sometimes we talk to our pets.

We don't actually give them information. So, there are so, so many times where we will assume our pets know something's going on. Um, and then that's when we, that's when we see stressful behavior in the pet. Um, sometimes we see behavior that's not good. So, any big change, like moving changes in relationships, changes in jobs, work schedules, all the way down to like going to the vet or have going on a trip and having a pet setter coming in.

It's really important and helpful to give your pet information. Um, so it doesn't have to be a bad change, it can be anything. Um, so for example, with the moving, that's a really, really common occurrence for people, kind of miss things in communicating. I worked with, um, someone whose cats had, had gone, gone missing.

So, this person was moving, the cats were going to a temporary [00:23:00] place during the move process, and then they were going to be back with the family. Uh, And, and the cats ran away. They disappeared. And so, they called me to communicate with them and, um, we did find them, but what it turned out was that, um, the person just naturally assumed that, well, there's, you know, people that we're packing and there's movers coming, so of course they're going with us.

They're are part of our family. You know, we would., of course they're going, but the cats just didn't quite get all that information. What they saw and felt was a lot of change, a lot of things happening. They're feeling a lot of emotions from the family. Not necessarily bad, but they're like, something big is happening and we don't know what, and they decided that all they knew was that they were in a place, strange place without their.

So, and I even before I knew any of this, I was moving and had my lab, who was my fur baby before, um, you know, and um, he got in the U-Haul truck and he would not get out. And I was like, what are, what are you [00:24:00] doing? And then it hit me, you know, come on, get out. We have to get in the car and drive the car.

We're not driving the U-Haul. You have to come with me in the car. And he finally came out, but it never even occurred to me that he might. He's not going because. It never occurred to me not to take him. Of course, he was going. So, I like to suggest that people talk to their pets as if it was a young child.

If you had something changing in your life, you would naturally tell a young child this, hey, this is what's going on and this is what's going to happen and this is how it affects you. And here's the exciting things that like, this has been really fun when we get to this new house and here's what it's going to look like.

And you're going to have, you know, for a., you're going to have a big yard to play in, and there's dogs that live next door, or you've got a big sunny window and there's lots of birds outside to look at. When you give them information, then they have all of the information and they know what's happening. They don't have to kind of fill in what might be happening and be just reacting [00:25:00] to.

The emotions or the energy that they're feeling about the change. 

Amy Castro: So, for the skeptics that might be listening right now and hearing what you're saying about having this conversation and describing where we're going to be, that would say your dog has no idea what you're talking about when you're saying that.

What would you, what would you say to those folks? 

Blair Hope: don't understand the words. They're understanding your feelings. So, if you are, if all they're getting is like, oh, there's lots to do and I'm kind of stressed, even though it's an exciting thing happening with this move and um, I need to make sure like I remember everything.

If all they're getting is that feeling, then they're going to be on edge and they're going., I mean they're animals, right? They naturally are reaching out to see like what's going on out there that I need to be aware of. So that doesn't feel good. But when you tell them, hey, we're going and I'm really excited and you know, I'm so excited cuz you're going to love this new house and we're going to go in the truck and get there. [00:26:00] 

When you just say that, like you can feel the difference of how that feels for you saying it, and they are feeling excitement, they're feeling joy, they're feeling openness, and that feels so much 

Amy Castro: better. Yeah, I think if somebody doesn't pick up anything else from this episode today, I think that is such an important point.

And I, I even think about our move when we moved to this house and I was super excited about moving to this house, but the day that we actually moved, I wasn't here. So, my husband, my daughter got. Stuck with the whole moving process and moving the animals over. The movers are moving in. Stuff doesn't fit like we thought it was going to fit.

It was. It was very stressful. And I know their personalities, they're both very anxious people. and also easily irritated, which I am as well. But I wasn't here to, to add to that, mix it. It was so strange. After we, even, after we got semis settled in our most mellow cat who, who. Seemingly [00:27:00] previously had, could put up with anything.

Foster animals coming in and out, you know, people coming and going. It was never the kind to hide from any of that. The cat wedged himself down the back of the sofa and didn't want to come out for like a whole day. We had to pull him out to get him out of the cushions. And it was just at the time I looked at it and thought, this is so bizarre, because I thought, well, for sure he, you know, it smells like us still.

It's our stuff. But I had never thought about. all that negative, you know, even though again, we were excited about the move, but the process was stressful and it was anxiety ridden and, and how that would impact our pets. And now it totally makes sense. 

Blair Hope: Yeah. Yeah. And once you start, once you start being aware of that, it's amazing how you can.

play with that and see how you can talk to your animals. Give them information about, I need to do your nails so that you stay healthy so you, I can pet you so you don't scratch me. Or, we're going to the vet and here's why. And then you're coming home. You can play with [00:28:00] that, and you'll see how much easier things get and also how much it, it increases the bond between you and your pet too.

Amy Castro: I mean, it also, it almost becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy if you're thinking that way and believing what you're saying because you're trying to create an experience for your pet. It's just more likely to play out that way. 

Blair Hope: Absolutely. And that goes back to the, when we talked about the reactive behavior of what you have, the picture in your mind and what you're saying to yourself, matching what you're saying to the pet as well, and visualizing and, and with the, you know, when you have behavior, if it's hard to imagine, I tell people, like not in the situation, just imagine in your head, what would that look like?

you know when you get to the house and everybody's relaxed or what would it look like for you to go on a walk and everybody and your dog to calmly walk by with you as another dog walks by? Like, just imagine that. And the more you can practice that on your own, [00:29:00] um, the more you can send that relaxed feeling of what it's supposed to feel like cigarette animal could kind of meet that expect.

Amy Castro: That's great advice. So, to kind of, uh, just begin to wrap things up, can you share with us any other particular tip? Maybe I've not been doing the best job, or I've not been as aware. How can I start improving that communication with my pet right now? 

Blair Hope: Um, well, one of my favorite things to suggest is just to be aware of your emotions and your energy.

And so, if you have an animal that is stressed or anxious or something sometimes, or worried when you leave, like how are you feeling? Because you can change your way that you're feeling and you can relax your physical body and they will feel that. Another thing is about how we talk to and about our pets.

And, um, back to talking about like when you're adopting a pet, how we talk about them. Just like [00:30:00] we talked earlier, how, and when you say words, they feel differently. So, if you were to say that I rescued this dog, especially when this dog's lived with me for a year. Rescue is you rescue an animal when they need something, they need a home, a safe place.

They need a better, they need medical care. They need something when you're rescuing them. But once they're in your home, you've adopted them. They're a part of your family. They have a safe place. They have a family that loves them. They have all the basic needs. They have, you know, toys and love and walks and all the good stuff.

So, they're no longer a rescue. They are now adopted. and if, and it feels differently when you say that. And, and just like when you talk about them, they feel that. Um, so that's another thing, just being mindful of how we're talking about our, our pets and especially the ones that maybe have been to a couple different rescues or shelters or homes in their life, um, that they are, they're [00:31:00] used to being up and down and so they're sometimes a little more.

to trying to gauge how you're feeling because they've had to do that and adapt at each place that they've been. 

Amy Castro: Yeah, that's, that's a really good point cuz I think about, um, actually, now I'm, you're making me feel guilty. Now. You're making me feel guilty., I'm feeling guilty because I, I tend to use extreme language sometimes.

Like, oh, this one's a maniac, or this one's this or this one's that. And it's like, you know, when you're thinking maniac, your energy is maniacal. to a certain degree, yes, it's going to be a different level of energy than if you just say, okay, instead of referring to her as a maniac. How about I say, Energetic, or she's inquisitive or she likes to be busy.

That's just, those are more positive words. And I know as a communication expert, I should know better, but I never really thought about it from the stand. Like I wouldn't call a friend a maniac, so why would I call my dog a [00:32:00] maniac? Um, I mean, language has energy, and language has power on the, on the recipient.

And even if the dog doesn't necessarily know the definition of the word, like you said many times, and it's so important. They can feel the energy, they can sense the, the tone. Uh, yes, they can see your facial expression when you're like, ah, and that's, that's something that they definitely they definitely pick up on.

Blair Hope: I love that example. And then if you were to reframe it as enter. Stick. If you were to reframe it as energetic or busy, then you could, it reframes it for you as well. And then you can look at, okay, how can we take this energetic, busy energy and find a more appropriate way for them to express it or let it out or meet their needs.

Amy Castro: Yeah. And I'm, I'm a big, big believer in reframing. I've, I've, you know, it's, it's taken me many years to learn to do that. But I think so many times, many of us will take, you know, whether it's an animal's behavior or a situation we find ourselves in, and [00:33:00] we, we put it in a negative package. And instead, what about if we took a step back from it and said, is there some type of alternative viewpoint that I could have?

On this thing, you know, it's not, it's not about being unrealistic, it's about realizing that our perceptions, our initial perceptions are not always accurate and there may be another way to see this behavior. And I think from, from a behavior standpoint, whether it's the labeling, like calling your dog maniac, or, I know with cats we know we run into issues sometimes we're going to actually have a whole episode about dealing with cats, not using the litter box, but somebody might say, they peed on my, on my bed because they're punishing me for something.

And it's like, really? Does your cat really have that intent that they're going to say, Ooh, I'm going to go and pee on your bed or pee on something of yours because I'm intending to punish you because you did this. It's probably not an accurate interpretation of that situation. Would you? Would you agree?

Blair Hope: Yeah, absolutely. For in my experience, they're not trying to [00:34:00] punish you. They're trying to say, hey, there's a problem that needs attention and I need. 

Amy Castro: I just want to say thank you so much, Blair, for being with us today, and I know that you had sent me some information about a download that you have for our listeners, a free download.

Can you tell us a little bit more about that and we'll put the link in the show notes and on the video as well. 

Blair Hope: Yeah, absolutely. So, if you go, if anybody goes to my website, there are, um, there's actually going to be two free downloads up there by the time this airs. One is, um, tips on talking for your pet, which covers a lot of what we talked about in some additional things.

And the other one are some reasons that might be underlying, like what your pet's behavior might be trained to tell you. Um, and those are, those are free on there. You can download them, you can print them out. Um, and hopefully those will be helpful to, to, um, helpful for the audience. I'd love to share.

Amy Castro: Awesome. Thank you so much. Yeah, I think that that interpretive guide is going to be really helpful for a lot of people because we just don't, don't always understand, and our pets, unfortunately, can't tell us with [00:35:00] their words. So being able to read their behaviors a little bit better will certainly help improve our relationship.

I think. . 

Blair Hope: The reason I love doing animal communication is because it's my job to come in and give the animal a voice and facilitate the communication between the person and the animal, and it always, always results in the person and animal being better able to communicate on their own between each other and understand each other better afterwards.

Amy Castro: That's awesome. That's awesome. And I, you know, you've really opened my eyes a lot with our conversation today and our previous conversation, and I, I feel like I'm now better equipped to, to start building those better bonds with. All of the critters around here, even the ones that aren't my pets. But, uh, it, it's, it's even got me thinking about how I refer to, to the Fosters cuz we have many, many fosters here and rethinking my language and my approach to them as being temporary.

It's real. A lot of food for thought. Thank you so much. Oh, you're so welcome. , thank you [00:36:00] all for being here today and for listening to this episode, and we hope that you continue to listen to episodes of Starlight Pet Talk. And if you don't do anything else for us this week, go ahead and give your pets a hug for us.

Thank you.

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